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The summer is coming to a close, and lately, I’ve been reflecting on time, energy, priorities, and direction for all the areas of my life…
My spiritual walk…
My family life…
My ministry work…
My business ventures…
My musical endeavors…
Within each of those areas comes a host of responsibilities, privileges, demands—you name it.
Normally, I’d say I’m passionate about each of these categories that take up my time, energy, priorities, and direction…
But passion alone doesn’t seem to be cutting it.
This is because the results seem to fall short of where I want, which is 100% satisfaction/execution, 100% of the time.
But there are days when my relationships are strained.
There are days when ministry work seems to stall out.
There are days when I miss the opportunities to grow other business and musical projects.
And then, there are the days when I feel I’ve fallen short of the fellowship to which God calls me unto Himself.
The thing is, I could say that [x] project is keeping me from getting the other priorities stewarded faithfully…
But in the end, my intentionality isn’t rightly spread across the board.
And when the results fall short, I start to feel burnout.
How could this be? After all, my passion is what partly fuels everything I do.
But after some reflection, listening, and praying, I’m starting to think:
What if my passion is the very thing that is burning me out?
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Revisiting Edwards and the Affections
A couple weeks ago, I listened to a great podcast from Michael Horton where he discussed Protestant spiritual formation with Kyle Strobel, who explores traditions developed by theologians like Jonathan Edwards and contrasts them against modern-era figures like Dallas Willard and John Mark Comer in his book When God Seems Distant (written with John Coe). Here’s the full episode:
When they arrived to passions and affection (26:06 in the video), a handful of Strobel’s thoughts immediately grabbed my attention:
“One of the key temptations is… ‘I need to pump passion into my will.’”
“Affections are part of your rational personhood… You don’t turn to your feelings; you turn to your decisions.”
“Passions are what begin in your body and often kind of work against you… Passions lead you to disintegration… This often why you feel ‘undone’ by them.”
“Affections will integrate your life and will often awaken your passions… when affections awaken passions, that is what’s going to help you navigate difficulty.”
“We think of emotions as things that kind of happen to us, and then we think, ‘Of course, God’s not against our emotions…’ Going back to our infancy in Christ, where we probably very passionate because we were very fleshly, that we come to believe what will fuel the Christian life is passion.”
“What we fail to see is that the same passion I use worship and fueling my Christian life is the same passion that is driving my lust and my sin. And that is the same fountain in the soul.”
“Passions are the kinds of things that burn very hot, they burn very quick, and they do not light a life on fire.”
“If you give yourself to passion, you’ll feel consumed.”
“Instead of working with an affection that guides life… you’ll have people who think, ‘I just need to get more passionate because it feels so meaningful… and that’s somehow defining who you are… That’s a way to be tossed by the waves of this world.”
That was a lot to chew on for me these last several days—and here’s where I’ve arrived (so far).
Parsing Out Passions and Affections
For guys like Edwards and Strobel, passions are:
Sudden, violent fleshly commotions.
Fueled by natural self-love and adrenaline.
Can easily fuel both worship and lust.
Burn hot and quick, leaving you empty.
In contrast, affections are:
Deep, abiding choices of the will.
Fueled by a spiritual sight of God’s beauty.
Can only drive a soul toward holiness.
Consistent, lasting, and transformative.
In my case, my passion for family, ministry, music, and business is a natural energy—but it’s one that thrives on excitement, movement, and visible progress. Because it’s “natural,” it’s tied to my physical and psychological capacity, which means it will eventually expire.
And the internal demand for “100%” quickly drains the natural energy, all because it’s focused on the process rather than the inherent beauty of what I’m stewarding. I view failure as almost like a moral failure, triggering anxiety and prompting even more input of “passion,” until almost nothing is left.
Instead of rightly assigning intentionality through affections, I bring intensity through passions to the process. In my mind, I think more intensity will achieve results, but in reality, it only brings chaos and reactiveness.
Reframing Things
It’s been refreshing to process these things, and on the outset of another season turning the corner, I want to reset a few things:
Instead of approaching my time with God with an agenda, I want to rest in His presence and receive what He has in mind; it will prove to be exactly what is needed.
Instead of only “doing my duty” as a husband, father, and friend, my relationships are better enriched by simply mirroring God’s love to the people I love.
Instead of being characterized by ongoing frustration in stalled work, I want to be known for quiet, optimistic, and faithful work that appreciates growth wherever it takes place.
Instead of seeing only the numbers that come back to me in business ventures, I want my attention to also embrace the value I’m bringing to others. It brings balance and symmetry to the equation.
Instead of only creating music with utility in mind (this is where I’ve been burnt out the most, only practicing for “the gig” because everything else feels futile or too indulgent), it’s OK for me to set aside time to be creative without another agenda. (I’m still unlearning all of the “music school mindset” that makes it hard for me to turn my brain off after a practice session.)
I know that this is just scratching the surface, but I’m feeling good about the direction that God is turning me toward.
And I hope it helps you as move through your own journey that God is guiding you on, too.
Be blessed 👊✌️
p.s. here’s a link to Strobel and Coe’s new book if you want to check it out:
Derek is the founder and director of Worship Strategies and is also Creative Ministries Director Faith Family Church in Fayette, MO. Outside of ministry, he is active as a musician and entrepreneur. He is married to his wife Kaitlynn, and they have two beautiful daughters.
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